TO READ: I'M BACK -- HAVING RECEIVED A GREAT BLESSING!!
After a several-week hiatus on two continents, I'm thrilled to be back in the blogosphere . . . and delighted to report that my husband and I are now proud parents of a 10-month-old baby girl! We spent two weeks going through the adoption details in China (after three years of going through adoption details in the U.S.), then made our way home just as the Olympics began there. All three of us are adjusting well and snuggling a lot, playing on the floor a lot, and dealing with wakings at 2am. Couldn't be better, even with having to just snatch a minute here and there to answer email, write blogs, take a shower. . . .
A few years ago I would not have thought there was a chance in the world that I'd ever become a parent as I had hoped. I was in the hospital too much, getting too much ECT, obsessed with harming myself; I was seeing and hearing things. I was too ill with my depression to work, study, or function very well socially, much less be responsible for another person's life too. And then there were all the issues around how my meds might affect a pregnancy, and how a pregnancy might affect my moods. But, lo and behold, a solution arrived as my recovery progressed these last three years or so. I feel tremendously grateful to the Universe for this opportunity, and it makes me want to say to everyone that there IS hope for better things, even when your health is very poor. Persevere, educate yourself, try different things and remember you are valuable. And write -- for clarity, understanding, peace and planning your recovery. Write.
Showing posts with label adoption. Show all posts
Showing posts with label adoption. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Friday, June 13, 2008
TO READ & WRITE: Shockingly Great News!
We're still stunned. But happily stunned. My husband and I are in the very, very long process of adopting a little girl. . . .
As you may have read here in early April, our hearts were broken when, after receiving an assignment to a lovely 18-month old whose photos we fell in love with immediately, we learned that her medical report showed that she was not healthy, as we had been led to understand. Instead, she was at serious risk of severe health and developmental problems and in fact should have been considered a "special needs" child. We were neither trained nor authorized for an SN child. Our adoption agency very firmly recommended that we not accept this assignment. And after days of research, multiple medical experts' reports, counseling and soul-searching, we made the gut-wrenching decision to refuse the assignment. We did this with the understanding that she would be quickly adopted by a special needs family. (And we remained at the top of the list for a new referral.) We continue to mourn her -- she will always be in our hearts.
Now, two months later, we have received a new assignment. On Tuesday we learned that her file had arrived; on Wednesday morning it had been translated and completely reviewed and approved by the adoption pediatrician; at that point only were we ready to make the dash to San Francisco to see the file and the precious photos of our new daughter-to-be. She's gorgeous! She's eight-months-old and looks healthy and alert.
We are very, very happy. And we are still feeling stunned too. Parts of our hearts are, even now, guarded until she is in our arms at home. It's been an unbelievable 72 hours in our house. But shock that after three years this could really come true, and that we could possibly be so fortunate, is slowly ebbing -- and joy is rising, pure and clear.
TO WRITE: Shocked!?!
I've just written about the amazing swirl of emotions I've been in in the last few days since receiving our adoption assignment. Shock has been a big one. After three years of working toward this and waiting and waiting and one serious problem, our wish seems within reach. We hope we'll have our little daughter in our arms within the next couple of months. Yet I'm surprised.
I suppose I've guarded my heart and turned off a lot of feelings over this time, just in order to write my book, keep my mood stable, and basically function. But still, I'm rather shocked at how shocked I am, and I'm slowly working this through so that I can focus more completely on more important emotions, like being thrilled.
Play with this. . .
Write for 20 minutes about a time you were shocked by something. It may have been a good big surprise, or something less welcome. How did you feel at the time? And were you still feeling it later? How have you processed it, or is it still a pressing issue for you?
We're still stunned. But happily stunned. My husband and I are in the very, very long process of adopting a little girl. . . .
As you may have read here in early April, our hearts were broken when, after receiving an assignment to a lovely 18-month old whose photos we fell in love with immediately, we learned that her medical report showed that she was not healthy, as we had been led to understand. Instead, she was at serious risk of severe health and developmental problems and in fact should have been considered a "special needs" child. We were neither trained nor authorized for an SN child. Our adoption agency very firmly recommended that we not accept this assignment. And after days of research, multiple medical experts' reports, counseling and soul-searching, we made the gut-wrenching decision to refuse the assignment. We did this with the understanding that she would be quickly adopted by a special needs family. (And we remained at the top of the list for a new referral.) We continue to mourn her -- she will always be in our hearts.
Now, two months later, we have received a new assignment. On Tuesday we learned that her file had arrived; on Wednesday morning it had been translated and completely reviewed and approved by the adoption pediatrician; at that point only were we ready to make the dash to San Francisco to see the file and the precious photos of our new daughter-to-be. She's gorgeous! She's eight-months-old and looks healthy and alert.
We are very, very happy. And we are still feeling stunned too. Parts of our hearts are, even now, guarded until she is in our arms at home. It's been an unbelievable 72 hours in our house. But shock that after three years this could really come true, and that we could possibly be so fortunate, is slowly ebbing -- and joy is rising, pure and clear.
TO WRITE: Shocked!?!
I've just written about the amazing swirl of emotions I've been in in the last few days since receiving our adoption assignment. Shock has been a big one. After three years of working toward this and waiting and waiting and one serious problem, our wish seems within reach. We hope we'll have our little daughter in our arms within the next couple of months. Yet I'm surprised.
I suppose I've guarded my heart and turned off a lot of feelings over this time, just in order to write my book, keep my mood stable, and basically function. But still, I'm rather shocked at how shocked I am, and I'm slowly working this through so that I can focus more completely on more important emotions, like being thrilled.
Play with this. . .
Write for 20 minutes about a time you were shocked by something. It may have been a good big surprise, or something less welcome. How did you feel at the time? And were you still feeling it later? How have you processed it, or is it still a pressing issue for you?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
