TO WRITE: Conversing with Depression
Let's continue our theme of writing dialog from the last post. I find it very powerful to deliberately have talks with other people or things in my mind, and especially to write down -- quickly and continuously! -- these interchanges as they happen, when unplanned, unexpected words, ideas or memories often appear as mysterious gifts.
I regularly imagine and record conversations with my own depression. More than simply reflecting on how I feel about being depressed, it lets me interact with my concept of the illness, get to know it, and get to know myself better.
Play with this. . .
How do you envision your depression or other troublesome emotion or situation? For example, is it a tornado that swirls around you? A monster that threatens from the closet? A black hole, a thief, a feeling of falling, or some animal like Winston Churchill's "black dog"? If you're not immediately sure, take about three minutes to quickly jot down at least five possible identities for that constellation of feelings, then re-read your list and choose one.
Next, writing quickly and continuously, create a dialog between yourself and your image of your depression. What have you always wanted to ask it about where it came from or what will make it quiet down or leave? What have you wanted to say to it in your times of anger? What does it want to tell you? Write this back-and-forth for 15 minutes. It may give you some clues or help resolve a little bit of your relationship with the illness, and it's a wonderful way to remind yourself that you are not your depression!
About Me
- Elizabeth Maynard Schaefer, Ph.D.
- My book, WRITING THROUGH THE DARKNESS: EASING YOUR DEPRESSION WITH PAPER AND PEN, was published by Celestial Arts in June 2008. I've been a science journalist, textbook editor and author, poet, memoirist, creative writing instructor and -- sometimes -- a bipolar depressed person, since earning my Ph.D. in biology at Stanford University in 1991. For the past ten years, I've combined my interests in writing and mental health by teaching creative writing to other people with mood disorders in a class meeting at Stanford's Psychiatry Department. I speak on mental health topics, both personal and professional, to a wide variety of groups.
5 comments:
My depression takes the form of a feeling of slogging through jello, a thick repulsive murk clinging to me, constraining my limbs and confusing my brain. I feel like I'm separated from the world by a layer of thick smoked glass, dimly letting in just enough light to make my way to the next vague outline, the next insurmountable task, like writing a coherent sentence.
Wow, Anonymous, what a tremendously difficult place you're in, yet what a remarkable, moving description of it. I do hope that you'll take heart in that you did manage to read this piece, respond to it, and show us some beautiful writing as well. The act of writing truly can help us feel better, so I hope you can keep it up.
Wow nice analysis you have made and shared. I think people will now do their best to get out of depression. Just avoiding the problem doesn't offer the feasible solution, one must understand that!
This is great! As no one can understand you better than yourself so I think the idea is fantastic. Thanks for the post!
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